June (2014)
May (2014)
April (2014)
March (2014)
3/25/2014
George's Gift
3/14/2014
Pick Yourself
February (2014)
December (2013)
12/27/2013
Holiday Card
12/4/2013
Good Causes
12/2/2013
Frozen Assets
November (2013)
11/16/2013
Sally B.
11/10/2013
End Game
October (2013)
September (2013)
9/21/2013
Self Study
Columbus Day Confusion
10/13/2003

Things were simpler when I was a kid. Christopher Columbus was a hero because he discovered America. Now it's much more complicated: Today is a holiday because--511 years ago yesterday--a delusional Italian...hired by Spain...seeking the Mollucas...accidentally landed at the Bahamas...which he named "the Indies," thereby precipitating the most brutal and thorough invasion and conquest in human history. Never accused of being overly traditional, Proctor celebrated in assembly with a frantic performance by a Gaelic-rock fusion band from Cape Breton called "Slainte Mhath."

It's not that simple. It turns out "Slainte Mhath" (which is a greeting akin to "to your health") may be spelled Slainte Mhath, but it's pronounced "schwan ger va." Are you with me? All of this motivated me to interview a few students about why we have a holiday today. Everyone feels free to offer a wholly distinct explanation. Rob and Alex offered something like "Well, um...he discovered...on...like, America."

These freshmen were surprisingly negative in their assessment, accusing Columbus of lying about a number of unspecified things.

Which teacher runs assembly this Columbus Day? Our beloved Frenchman, Eric Viandier.
The fiddle is a mainstay of Canadian Maritime folk music. In Canada, today is Thanksgiving Day.
Bagpipes were introduced to western Europe from the Middle East.
This purple, electrified didgereedoo is descendant from an aboriginal Australian woodwind.
Joe gives Columbus two thumbs up, while regretting the Admiral introducing veneral disease to Europe.
Why is today a national holiday? Nick: "Because Columbus discovered the Indies."
Day Care intern Ignacio Garcia, a Spaniard, informs me that today is "Spanish Day" in Spain. Like here, the holiday is observed by not working.
Bob Livingston has an ability to make things straight.